Something Big

Mother phoned to say uncle had died, which meant I had inherited his school bus. “I didn’t know Uncle was a bus driver,” I said. “He wasn’t,” she said, “but it was one of his passions. Now look outside your front window." I did as I was told, and of course the bus was parked in the driveway. “And the keys?” I asked. “In the ignition.” As a freewheeling man I had no plans or job to speak of. So I crawled into the driving seat, which was still warm, and started off. I drove straight to Cleveland before I had to stop for gas. Outside the station I met two females who wanted to go for a ride. I agreed, thinking they would make good company, but quickly regretted it. We were on the road only a short time when I realized how disgusting they were. I tried to persuade them to exit out the back, telling them I suspected the bus was filling with toxic gas that might cause serious weight gain, but they were smarter than I thought, and started to laugh. After awhile I lost control of my arms and legs and began swerving into telephone poles. The bus held up perfectly and with great success, I left them in a ditch. I went further into the countryside until I came upon a man fishing a waterhole. I stopped to watch, but nothing was biting. “Rough waters?” I asked. “No, no bait,” he said. “Nice bus.” “Thanks. You want it?” “Sure, but what do you want in exchange?” he wondered. I didn't know for sure, but I also didn't hesitate and said,“Warmth.” “No problem my friend, follow me.” We walked through some prickly trees and came to the front door of his house. “Make yourself at home,” he said. “Thank you,” I said. Then he jogged off, climbed into the bus, and drove out of sight. I went inside and met his healthy wife and their seven young children. “Where are the fishy fish?” the wife asked. “I’m sorry,” I said, “I don’t have any fish, in fact I don’t have anything.” “Well, sorry won’t cut it buddy. Get out there and don’t come back until you have something that will feed eight hungry mouths.” "You're absolutely right," I said, "I'll be back, I promise."

I Heard That One Before

I confessed everything
to an earwig
and he ran under a crack
in the floorboards
and re-surfaced later
in the soap dish.

Deli Counter Stacked with Cold Meats

Eating an i'mnotsupposetoloveyouanymore sandwich and watching a kid outside the window
kick a dead frog, which looks like a washed-out rag, and thinking maybe I should call to see
if you are home.

Confession

We woke the ceramic tiger,
that is, he stretched and yawned
and licked his gigantic tooth,
which meant he was capable of anything.
So we backed further into his cave
and found our ceramic selves
and hid behind them and never returned
to each other.

Price Tag

A bouquet of plastic flowers
lay perfectly outside
the apartment building
like it had been delivered
right from the store
to that spot
on the pavement.

Passing Time

Build a mountain
next to the sea.
A mountain lasts.

Add warm water.
Remove unnecessary rocks,
and salt heavily.

Knead courseness into
dough caves
and dig east
for wave-effect.

Cover with cool
hand towels.
Drifts should peak.

If the mountain needs more time,
wait.
If another appointment arises,
go ahead and take it.
The forests will form
naturally.

Like A Squirrel With Pulp In His Jaws

Tonight
we undress in a hurry,
race to show each other
just how much love
there is.

Well, That Depends

A man driving and reading his bible
hits a small child playing hop-scotch
in the middle of the road.

The Fly Had Human Ears

Dear so-and-so,
I made a big mistake,
so you know,
sorry.

Two

"You forgot a comma."
"A what?"
"A comma," I say and point
at the spot on his lip.
"Oh. Thanks," he says in a reddish voice
and flicks it off somewhere
past the table we are sharing.

Morning Poem

Things are not as easy
as they seem
does not apply to everything,
for example
the toaster.

Out

I sent Myself to seize the day,
meaning I ordered Myself to do all the things
I didn’t want to do.
And I didn’t want to do anything.
I told Myself to complete some tasks
while I lay in bed watching a comedy on TV.
Then I left Myself a note
stuck to the refrigerator door:
Please prepare dinner and finish everything else.
I’ll scrub the floors
tomorrow. Promise.

Slip

I wrote down how I was feeling
and passed it to the man
sitting next to me.
He read it and passed it
to the woman on his right.
No one else was around,
so I think she kept it.

Nature's Call

A crystal ball sat on the couch cushions waiting to reveal my fortune. I had just moved to a new apartment and I was busy ripping the tape lips off several boxes. The crystal ball was there when I arrived, patient and shiny. I knew I must handle it with great care and sincerity. After some time I understood it was starting to get annoyed with me, constantly checking the clock and wondering when I would finish. I decided to set aside my teaspoon collection and began focusing on the present. The crystal ball started humming, which actually made the task seem lighter. I sat down and gave it some attention. It began to glow. This is why people keep pets I thought. When my fortune was ready a tiny slip appeared. I thanked the crystal ball because it seemed tired and sad from the procedure. You will move back to the country, was written in pencil on one side. Strange. I had never lived in the country before, but the idea filled me with joy and probably hope. I turned to consult the crystal ball, but it was already asleep. I wondered what I would do there. Then the phone rang, muffled at first, from a box in the far corner.

No I Will Not Go Down That Road With You Again

Absolutely not.
It is littered with sharp things
and unkept benches.
A wetness is flowing everywhere.
A large animal with greasy hair
is stuck in the fence
and the darkness
is darker there.
Cheap whores are probably
projected on large screens
just around the corner.
But will I go to the park
with you?
Sure.
Perhaps for an ice cream cone?
Perhaps.

Look At Summer

getting so serious.
The cicadas dried into their skulls
like rattles or dumptrucks;
clothes on the line calculating the speed
of growing grass,
factoring heavy rain;
and left-over soup cans turned to bells
with weathered spoon dongs,
turning to rust spots over the garage door,
which no longer opens
with the touch
of a red button.
Boxelders.

Antibacterial

The dishes are stacked.
Meaning two or three
months have passed.
I avoid them
by washing each
new plate or cup immediately
after I use it.
It's getting harder
to maneuver under the faucet
because that's where
the pile is wavering.
It's keeping all my other things
very clean.

With Giant Fans Overhead or The End

You've gathered all things
you can handle lightly.
Late
you travel into the endless
that is probably night
and bump into a shrub
or vertical path
or beast
or bulletin board.
Good news:
Consider this
like you consider
everything else.

So you rethink your legs
and use them wisely
it seems.